I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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