I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I didn't notice because vodka
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
