dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
