Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize