it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
it hurts more in the daytime
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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