omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
