How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I think I am morally bankrupt
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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