We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
