The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
That's intense
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
