Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I am mentally ready for anal.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
