But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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