he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
