Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
did i just pee glitter
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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