I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
