Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
