so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
