I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
