dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
What a dumb baby whore.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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