I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
