He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
