I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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