I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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