Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
is wine microwaveable?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
