i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
