Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
