Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
