I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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