My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Can you bring me the toilet please
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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