Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize
