Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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