so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
