Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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