He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize