He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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