Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize