forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
it's like iHOP with fire
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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