I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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