I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
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It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
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My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
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