we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
