Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
