the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
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The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
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It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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