also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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