He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I love having hate sex.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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