he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
