the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
