I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Are we still banned from the library?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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