umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
