Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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