you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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