But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
