Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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