you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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