How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
