wat bout pragnant strippers??
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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