seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
