I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
