The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
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I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
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And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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