I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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