Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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