saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
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Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
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I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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