please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Randomize
