Umm I'm too high to move.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
