well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
