Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
