a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
